CUPID.COM

"I'm built like a house. My body is chiseled. I can do any sport- I ran a mile yesterday in 5 minutes. I'll cut my time to 4:50 by next week. The ladies call me The Black Stallion." 

I was on the phone with an arrogant ASSHOLE from CUPID.COM. 

"Wow. That's amazing. Especially at your age." I was being sarcastic but he was so full of himself he didn't notice. I decided to amuse myself and let him talk some more.

"I'm good looking, and very successful but I won't discuss my salary. I'm blessed by the good Lord. He is my salvation. I go to church regularly. I noticed you didn't check a preference for religion. Are you a Christian? I don't date non-Christians but your profile was half-decent so I thought I'd check you out. Aren't you going to ask me why they call me a Stallion?" He said.

"I'll pass." 

He proceeded to tell me anyway.

"I'm great in bed." 

This on-line dating crap was getting old.

"And I'm Cindy Crawford."

I hung up. 

Wow. Nothing more to say about that one.