WTF????

I went on a date with a guy who seemed pretty cool. He took me to dinner at the fanciest restaurant I'd ever been to. I opened the menu. WOW. The prices were RIDICULOUS. A salad cost $30. How can lettuce, tomatoes, and maybe a cucumber, (doubtful) cost that much money?
"Order anything you want." He said.
We talked about relationships, family, jobs, common interests- the usual shit one talks about on a first date. The conversation was easy and casual. I liked him. He was funny and real, attentive, warm, and sexy. Two hours later, we were flirting openly, really hitting it off. I was feeling elated. At the end of dinner, he reached across the table and grabbed my hand. I was shocked, but not in a bad way. I thought it was brave and assertive. I liked that. He had big, warm hands. I liked that, too.
"You're holding my hand." I said.
What a dumb thing to say.
"Yes, I am. Is that okay?" He asked.
"Oh, yes." I replied. "You have great hands."
"I do?" 
"Yes!" We both laughed.
We left the restaurant after he paid the bill- $120. HOLY FUCK. 
He walked me to my car. I said, "Thank you for dinner. I had a really good time."
"Me too." He said.
Then, before I could blink, he grabbed me by the shoulders and SHOVED HIS TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT.
"Oh my God- was this supposed to be a kiss? Or was he trying to choke me to death?" I thought to myself.
I pulled back. He came in for more. For some reason, I tried to go with it. I think I liked him so much, I was trying to avoid being grossed out. I kept pulling back, trying to teach him how to kiss. I failed. I pulled back for the last time. I was all done with this guy. YUCK. Instant TURN-OFF.
"Mmmm.. that was yummy." He said.
"That was disgusting." I said.
No, I didn't really say that. (But I wanted to.) Instead I said, "It's late, I'd better go. Thank you again."
He grabbed my arm. "You're my dream girl, Amy. We're going to make a great couple."
HUH???
I opened my car door and practically dove in. 
"I'll call you later!" He yelled out after me.

I'd like to make one more comment in this blog:

TO ALL OF YOU MEN OUT THERE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO KISS- 

LEARN.