SWEATY ARMPITS

It sucks when you have sweaty armpits. When I was on the gymnastics team in high school we had to wear ugly long-sleeved leotards and I hated them because they made me sweat. Back then I was still hairy (pre-electrolysis) YUCK and so every week the night before a gymnastics meet, me and my sister would put JOLEN' BLEACH CRÈME all over our bodies (to bleach the hair, making it less obvious- it didn't) and we HATED it because it smelled like ASS and itched like CRAZY and we had to walk around naked with this itchy foul-smelling crème all over our bodies for 15 minutes. That's not the end of it.

Because I sweat so much, the long-sleeved leotard was a sensitive issue. In order to prevent two giant dark circular STAINS from appearing under my arms, my mother found "armpit pads" in a catalogue and ordered them for me. Before every gymnastics meet, my sister would help me attach my armpit pads. The pads acted as panty shields for my armpits. They had elastic bands that wrapped around my shoulder and underneath my arm and then hooked into the little white pads. The other girls on the team used to call me names like "SWEATY GIRL".  I loved my mother for getting me those pads. All I cared about was NOT being sweaty. Or hairy, for that matter.