SELF-ANNOYANCE
I annoy myself. I hate that. There are a lot of things about myself that I find annoying. Like when I'm telling a story and halfway through it, I realize it's a DUMB story. Then I become aware of the sound of my voice, which I hate, and the story gets worse because I've lost my train of thought.. all I'm thinking about is the annoying sound of my voice.
I get annoyed when I trip over NOTHING. It happens a LOT. I don't understand it. There is nothing to trip over, and yet I trip. What is that?
I'm very, very clumsy. I hate that. I annoy myself when I'm clumsy. I drop things. All kinds of things. Sometimes I drop the same thing several times in a row. The harder I try NOT to drop something, the more I end up dropping it.
Sometimes I walk into walls or poles and hit my head so hard I can't hear anything for a minute or two... (scary) I've fallen off ladders... several times. I fell off a roof- twice in the same day. (What is that all about?) Most of the time my injuries are minor. I guess I'm lucky in that regard. Other times I get really hurt but I'm always in a rush so there's no time to stop what I'm doing. I suck it up and keep going while muttering obscenities under my breath.
Occasionally, I'll save myself from a wipe- out or a fall by doing some amazing stunt that could have been in a movie. Of course, when that happens there's no one around to see it.
I annoy myself when I forget things. I forget lots of things. When I'm talking to other people and they say, "Remember that, Amy?"
I rack my brain trying to find the memory but it doesn't come and I have to decide whether I should fake it or be honest and admit I don't have a fucking CLUE what they're talking about. Sometimes though, when I'm honest, (about forgetting something) the person gets mad at me. I want to say, "What are you mad about? I'm the one who can't remember the damn thing!" Sometimes the truth isn't worth the trouble. I only end up annoying myself further.
What does all of this "self-annoyance" mean? Do I annoy other people as much as I annoy myself? That would be HORRIFYING. But very possible.
I get annoyed when I trip over NOTHING. It happens a LOT. I don't understand it. There is nothing to trip over, and yet I trip. What is that?
I'm very, very clumsy. I hate that. I annoy myself when I'm clumsy. I drop things. All kinds of things. Sometimes I drop the same thing several times in a row. The harder I try NOT to drop something, the more I end up dropping it.
Sometimes I walk into walls or poles and hit my head so hard I can't hear anything for a minute or two... (scary) I've fallen off ladders... several times. I fell off a roof- twice in the same day. (What is that all about?) Most of the time my injuries are minor. I guess I'm lucky in that regard. Other times I get really hurt but I'm always in a rush so there's no time to stop what I'm doing. I suck it up and keep going while muttering obscenities under my breath.
Occasionally, I'll save myself from a wipe- out or a fall by doing some amazing stunt that could have been in a movie. Of course, when that happens there's no one around to see it.
I annoy myself when I forget things. I forget lots of things. When I'm talking to other people and they say, "Remember that, Amy?"
I rack my brain trying to find the memory but it doesn't come and I have to decide whether I should fake it or be honest and admit I don't have a fucking CLUE what they're talking about. Sometimes though, when I'm honest, (about forgetting something) the person gets mad at me. I want to say, "What are you mad about? I'm the one who can't remember the damn thing!" Sometimes the truth isn't worth the trouble. I only end up annoying myself further.
What does all of this "self-annoyance" mean? Do I annoy other people as much as I annoy myself? That would be HORRIFYING. But very possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment