STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR

The year was 1993. It was a hot, humid, sticky night. We were in Boston to see our friend's band, ONE HITTER, play at a local club. We were big fans. The bar was in the basement of an old building.  After like, a YEAR, (parking sucks in Boston) we found a spot somewhere a few blocks from the club. When we entered the building, there was an old, stuffy elevator. The elevator went to the basement where the band would be playing.
Some of the band members arrived at the same time we did. We were thrilled! They loaded the elevator with some of their equipment; a microphone, two guitars and a small set of drums.  Everyone was in a jolly mood. The band members insisted we ride the elevator with them. There were ten of us, plus the three of them, and the equipment, but we all squeezed in. There was no room to move. I was glad I was chewing gum. We were laughing at the situation; all of us squished together like sardines. The doors closed and the elevator began it's descent. There were a few creaks and bangs. Someone made a stupid comment. "What if the elevator broke down right now?" Everyone laughed. I didn't. I was already sweating. My hair was going flat and my make-up was running.
There was another loud BANG- then a creaking noise. The elevator stopped. We were all anxious for the door to open. The heat in the elevator was STIFLING. The doors didn't open. "The elevator is old," I thought to myself. "It probably takes a while for the doors to open." (Denial.) A few moments passed. Still, the doors remained shut. After about 20 or 30 seconds someone made another stupid comment. "I think we're stuck."  We started yelling and banging on the doors, expecting someone in the lobby to hear us. There was a tiny crack between the elevator doors. We could see people milling around, but they had no idea the elevator was stuck. Ten minutes passed. We stopped yelling because it was getting hard to breathe. It was like being in a sauna- only hotter. Finally, we heard someone on the other side. He said, "Why won't the elevator open?" We started shouting again. "IT'S STUCK! HELP US!" There were so many people in the lobby our voices were drowned out. The kid gave up and walked away. We were devastated. The temperature was rising. There was so much sweat on my upper lip you could swim in it. There was no ventilation. The emergency phone had been ripped out of the box. A cluster of wires hung in it's place. No one had a cell phone. (I don't think they were invented yet.)
I was the only female in the elevator. Most of the guys were wearing tank tops. I was surrounded by male armpits. The B.O. was making me nauseous. The guy in front of me was trying to make me laugh. He said to me, "Amy, your eyebrows are about to overflow." It was the wrong thing to say because I hate my eyebrows and I hate sweating. I started to cry. "Curtis" (the guy who commented on my eyebrows) felt bad. He said he was sorry, and that I had nice eyebrows. I didn't believe him.  Then we heard a voice shouting into a microphone. It was the singer.  He was looking for his band. We heard him say, "Well, the show must go on..." and then we heard him start singing. The band members in the elevator were helpless. We felt bad for them. I remember thinking how brave it was for the singer to sing by himself. Thirty minutes passed. I said to my husband, "Scotty, I'm going to lose it." He looked at me and said, "Don't." I thought that was really helpful. (sarcasm) We were all so close to each other that our arms and legs were sticking together. The inhalation of bad breath made me feel faint. I could see fumes in the air. It was RANK. I started to cry. I felt like I was dieing. "I'm not going to make it!" I told everyone. "I'm going to die!" I wanted to bang my fists on the elevator doors but I couldn't move my arms. Someone was holding a guitar above my head.  I tried to climb on top of Curtis. Scotty was trying to pull me back down.  Chaos ensued. Everyone was yelling. Some of the others started banging on the doors again. One of the guys told me to shut up. My husband got pissed. We thought a fight might break out but there was no room to throw punches. The band members started playing the theme from "TITANIC." (I'm kidding) Someone yelled, "LOOK! EYEBALLS!" In the crack of the doors, we could see a pair of eyes looking in. 
"Is somebody stuck in the elevator?" She said. "YES!" We all screamed. "GET US OUT!" Somehow, I stayed alive for twenty more minutes. The firemen came. They had to use a giant crowbar to get us out. When the doors opened, we spilled out in a tidal-wave of sweat. Thirteen of us, drenched, dehydrated, and gasping for air on the floor of the lobby. A huge crowd had gathered to witness the rescue. It was humiliating. The band members took off to the stage. The other elevator survivors went directly to the bar and ordered a round of shots and beer chasers. I didn't. I was still recovering from my near-death experience. The band played AWESOME that night. My hair was flat and my make-up was smeared all over my face but I was glad to be alive. 

It sucks getting stuck in an elevator.