THE ABYSS...


We've all been there. You're driving on the freeway and you're late for a dinner party or an audition or something of the sort, and it happens. It might be your earring or bracelet or headset or maybe your last piece of gum. Worse yet, it might be your cell phone. It slips out of your hands and falls into the crevice between the console and your seat and you know IT'S GONE FOREVER. Of course, you're in a rush and you need to call your friend to let her know you're going to be late but now your phone is lost in THE ABYSS and you're reaching down under the seat and the car is swerving and people are honking but you NEED TO FIND YOUR PHONE.  You CAN'T UNDERSTAND where it went! Your fingers are shoved into the HOLE and there are sharp metal things digging into your hand and wires and all sorts of SHIT under there, but NOT YOUR PHONE.  I mean, what the F!#$!? You start yelling profanities at your car as you cross over to the breakdown lane and put the hazards on. Of course, it's dark outside, making it IMPOSSIBLE to see anything in the car let alone your BLACK cell phone wedged somewhere in THE ABYSS. You grab the MAG-LIGHT from the glove compartment, thanking yourself for putting it in there but OF COURSE the batteries are dead and the over-head light doesn't work so you get out of the car, shitting your pants because the traffic is whizzing by and now your head is almost completely under the seat and it HURTS because your body is contorted in the most unnatural position while your hands and fingers are feeling around in the dark but you still can't find the motherfucking thing and now it's RINGING- you know it's your friend wondering where THE FUCK you are but your phone has fallen into THE ABYSS and it's GONE FOREVER. 


I hate when shit like that happens.