"NEVER LOOK BEFORE 

 CROSSING THE STREET"

The girl's mother must have been intoxicated or brain damaged when she taught her daughter about safety. "Honey, make sure you NEVER look before crossing the street."

It was early evening. I was driving through the center of town, approaching an intersection. I saw a girl on the sidewalk, talking on her cell phone. She was standing close to the curb, in front of a crosswalk. Naturally, I assumed she was waiting for the "walk" signal. Still, being a cautious driver, I slowed down a little bit. The light was still green. I was entering the intersection when the girl decided to step in front of me. I SLAMMED on the brakes. My car skidded SIDEWAYS. I threw my arm to the right, trying to prevent my dog from smashing through the windshield. I looked up. The girl was oblivious to her near-death experience. She was still TALKING ON HER CELL PHONE!  I sat there for a moment, thinking to myself, "THANK GOD I didn't hit her." Then I thought, "At least not with my car." I pulled over and got out. I ran up behind her, grabbed her cell phone, and pitched it over a bridge into a river. Then I BITCH-SLAPPED HER. 
(I'm kidding.) I didn't bitch-slap her. I punched her in the face. (Kidding again.) Rewind. (I didn't pitch her phone into the river, either.) I sat there for a moment with my dog, thinking how a split second in time made the difference between life and death.
WTF? Did she think she was Captain Kirk or Dr. Spoc and had an invisible force-field around her? Did she think she was God? Or was she simply a DUMB BITCH with no clue and a lot of hot air to spew into a phone while crossing a busy intersection?
I HATE STUPID PEOPLE.