PIRANHAS OR PYTHON?

If I had to choose between getting ripped to shreds by piranhas or squeezed to death by a python, I think I'd take the piranhas. A python death would take forever. You'd be walking along in the forest, enjoying the beauty of nature... when suddenly you trip over something. You look down and see a giant scaly thing with eyes. A PYTHON. Before you can blink, it wraps itself around your leg, pinning you down. The muscles in his body are like STEEL. The harder you try to pull away, the harder he squeezes. You scream for help, but your DUMB-ASS idea to go hiking alone in the forest has backfired, and nobody can hear you. You're SCREWED. By now, the python is working his way up your torso. You can't feel your legs anymore and now it's squeezing your bladder and you regret drinking that extra large FRAPPACINO from STARBUCKS. The python is HUGE. It feels like your body is stuck in a vice. He reaches your chest and the constriction starts to crush your lungs. Your losing consciousness. He circles around your neck and looks at you with those creepy black eyes. He sticks his tongue out, then pulls it back in. Out again, and back in. He is totally fucking with you, and it pisses you off. This doesn't help your situation. The python gives you one last squeeze as you suffocate to death. Unless, of course, you fake it, in a last valiant effort to save yourself. But then you regret it because now he's going to swallow you alive. It takes a long time, though, because you're a lot bigger than his mouth and he has to detach his jaw in order to get all of you in... It would suck being alive inside a python's body.

I'd go with the Piranha death.