IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

I went to Walmart to look for solar lighting. I found one I liked but I needed 3 boxes of them and they only had one left. I looked everywhere for an employee. A year passed. I found one sitting on a lawn chair in the garden department. She was talking on her cell phone.

ME: "Ummm... hi!" I said, hoping she would get off of her phone. "I have a question for you- when you have a moment." (I'm always polite. At first.)

EMPLOYEE: She says, into her phone, "So now I have to water all of the plants in the lawn department. I hate this place."

ME: "Ummmmmm, HI THERE. I have a question."

EMPLOYEE: To her phone, "Hang on Sandra." She holds her phone away from her ear. "What?"

ME: "Excuse me?"

EMPLOYEE: "I said, WHAT? What is your question?"

I was taken aback. I forgot my question! I was thinking about BITCH-SLAPPING HER.

ME: "Can you tell me if you have any more of these in the back?" I held up the box.

EMPLOYEE: "I doubt it."

Then she resumes her conversation on the phone.

I took a deep breath.

ME: "Will you find out for me please?"

EMPLOYEE: She holds the phone away from her ear again. "We don't. Whatever is on the shelf is all we have. Sorry." She resumes her conversation again.

I'm starting to lose my cool. I gave her another chance.

ME: "When is your next delivery? I want to come back and get two more boxes of these." I hold up the box again.

EMPLOYEE: "Damn it Sandra, Hold on." She looks at me.  "I don't know."

I'm dumbfounded.

ME: "Well.... could you find out please?"

EMPLOYEE: "I don't know where my manager is."

I'm teetering at the edge of a bipolar blow-out.

ME: "Well then I suggest  you GO LOOK FOR HIM." I stare at her,

EMPLOYEE: She throws up her arms in agitation. "He could be anywhere- I can't go look for him."

ME: "EXCUSE ME?" I say, loud and clear.

EMPLOYEE: "I said-"

ME: "I HEARD YOU." As I said this, I started walking over to her. I swear to God there was steam shooting out of my ears. 

Now I had her attention. 

ME: "Let's play a game." I said. 

EMPLOYEE: "A game?"

ME: "Yes. It's called GET OFF YOUR PHONE BEFORE I BEAT YOU WITH IT." She blinked and stood there, shocked. Then I said, "You want me to beat you with your phone?"

EMPLOYEE: She instantly hung up on her friend. "You can't talk to me like that!"

ME: "No?" I paused for a few seconds. Then I said, "Give me your phone so I can beat you with it." I paused again. "I guess you were wrong." 

EMPLOYEE: "You're a bitch! I'm getting my manager!" As she walked away, I ran up behind her and shoved her really hard. She skidded down the aisle on her face and chest. I laughed hysterically. It was hilarious! Too bad I was daydreaming. I was curious to meet the manager. I waited for 5 minutes. Rage was starting to consume me. Plus I was hungry and that's not a good combination. I decided to leave.  

I hate WALMART.