COLUMBUS DAY

I can't believe we celebrate Columbus Day. Sure, it's great to have the day off from work, but why can't we celebrate someone else instead? Christopher Columbus was a slave driver, a rapist, a thief, and and an all-over piece of shit.  Why don't we celebrate the person who invented chocolate? Or icecream? We could have a National Chocolate Icecream holiday! Now that's something to celebrate!!!!

Note: You wouldn't have to eat chocolate icecream. It could be vanilla, strawberry, Rocky Road, chocolate chip, Fudge Swirl, Cherry Garcia...