COMMERCIALS

OH MY GOD WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW?!!!

I CAN'T STAND WATCHING TV ANYMORE! THE COMMERCIALS MAKE ME WANT TO HANG MYSELF!

I mean, WTF?

First of all, why does the volume go up like, TEN DECIBELS when the commercials come on?  A bomb could go off in my basement and I wouldn't hear it! Why do they do that? Who makes those decisions? Do they take votes on the decibel range? Like, on a scale of 1-10 where 1 is mute and 10 causes DEAFNESS?  I'd like to blast an air-horn directly into their EAR CANAL and ask them if it feels good.
I'd also like to inquire about the LENGTH of the commercials. I swear the FUCKING COMMERCIALS are longer than the shows!!! And they play the SAME ONES OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Most of them are PRESCRIPTION DRUG commercials, which means we have to hear about all of the side effects a gazillion times.
It's so much fun to hear about the "possibilities"... dry mouth, constipation, rash, yeast infection, bladder infection, diarrhea, rectal bleeding, cough, congestion, nausea, migraines, dizziness, confusion, trouble swallowing, increased heart-rate, excessive sweating, blindness, impotence, hair loss, SUICIDAL thoughts, (from ANTI-DEPRESSANTS- aren't they supposed to make you happy, instead of wanting to kill yourself?)  numbness in the extremities, the inability to move upon wakening, (my favorite one) and allergic reactions- like DEATH. I love when they say you shouldn't take it if you're allergic to it. WTF? How would you know if you're allergic to it unless you take it?DUH!

I HATE COMMERCIALS!