SHOVEL IMPALEMENT

It happens every year. The temperature is like, 3 degrees, with a wind-chill factor of minus 1000. I'm out on the sidewalk, shoveling. There's no more room to put the snow, so I have to SHOT-PUT it over the embankment. The wind makes it SO MUCH FUN as it drives the snow back into my face, freezing my eyelids shut. But the worst part about shoveling is when I hit a bump in the pavement and impale myself.

Blind, freezing, and IMPALED, I decide to FUCK THIS SHIT and go back inside.